C.Cheshire started in net, with Brazzil, Beer, Strang and Moran starting together for the first time, given the absence of Woodbridge. Slater and (Captain) Rowlands sat in front, with Foley, Young and Walmsley behind Peattie.

Before kick off, concerns were raised about the Balham Badgers team. At first you couldn’t be sure, didn’t want to be sure, but as he turned his back on you once again, you saw it was true. Yes, he really was wearing the number 69 on his back. A man wearing the number 69 on his back, playing a competitive football match. To quote one Fraser Foley ‘you absolute virgin.’

Kicking into the wind first half, Vale made an assertive start, with triangles down the flanks supplemented well by Rowlands and Slater always providing an option in the middle. Young and Peattie (to quote Martin Tyler talking about Carlos Tevez on Fifa ‘with his bulldog like approach’) were pressing hard from the front and forcing ‘the Badge’ long more often than not, which is exactly what the pale lanky Swede and Beer have for breakfast on Sundays. Such pressing paid off when Vale won the ball high the pitch and moved it onto Slater, who played a quick one-two with Rowlands before slotting under the onrushing keeper (1-0).

Following the goal, a Badgers player decided to kick the ball away for a Vale throw-in - an interesting tactic when 1-0 down, to which Foley decided to comment on. Moments later he received an ‘accidental’ elbow to the back of the head by one of their stranger players. On the sideline, Beck and Woodbridge were subject to an in game ‘come and get me’ plea from an ex Kew Antigua player. He mentioned that he played against us in the 1-0 victory for the mighty County earlier in the season, and is no longer with Kew but would be interesting in joining. Unfortunately (apart from with Luke Barnes) for this hopeful punter, joining the County is like getting a connection on LinkedIn - you need a reference, a mutual contact. Without it we are simply not interested in your business, so please leave our machine in motion and go away.

On the pitch, following his world record attempt at consecutive sliced clearances last week, this week Beer, fresh from a night at the UFC, looked to believe he was in the octagon himself - being tackled by air at various times throughout the match. As the half went on the Badgers came into the game a bit more, but without any clear cut opportunities following good defending by Brazzil and Moran at the back post when required - with the increasing headwind slowing Vale breaks on the counter.

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HT: 1-0