Kudos Athletic 0-1 Vale County
Ken Bailey Cup Semi-Final
Wimbledon Common Extensions
25/04/21
It was bedlam in Wimbledon as Vale reached the Ken Bailey Cup final following an ‘effective’ performance against Kudos Athletic.
Starting XI
C.Cheshire started in net, with Woodbridge, Beer, Beck and Brazil across the back. Wignall, Slater and The Cycling Centre Mid made up the midfield trio, with Foley and the returning, reformed, Peattie either side of Rowlands.
The day started early, following orders from Graham to be there at 11.30 sharp. As the time drew on to 12.20, he was still unable to tell us what pitch we were on for the 12.30 game. Just a very strange human.
Thankfully, my good friend Lawrence Torz-Brown was refereeing today, which we’d had a laugh about when down the pub earlier in the week. He even offered me the chance to start the match when they only had 7 players, but on this occasion had to tell him to rein his joker instincts in and wait another 15 minutes.
When the game finally did kick off, the non-performance following Beckfest a week ago was still fresh in the minds of Vale players — so it was vital to start well in the semi-final today.
Peattie, Foley, Given and Rowlands were winning the ball high up the pitch for Vale early on, and fashioned a few half chances if nothing clear-cut. Kudos were comfortable in possession once it got into the midfield, so stopping it getting there appeared to be the best chance of success.
Indeed, whenever Vale looked to get in behind on the counter, a combination of Kudos’ #5 (the fastest man in South London) and the out of shape, but surprisingly pacey Edgar Davids tribute act cleared up between them more often than not. Given broke free on one occasion, and attempted an outrageous effort from 30 yards which unfortunately was off-target.
Beer and Beck were dealing with the threat down the middle from Kudos well, keeping their distances and preventing any balls in behind. Brazil, chest puffed out following a remarkable workout on Friday evening, was up and at Kudos from the start with some strong tackles — though perhaps fortunate to escape a yellow for one of his customary sacrificial lamb tackles near the touchline.
Kudos grew into the game as the half went on, with their silky centre mid taking some of his 6,000 touches during the game. No, not Barrington Brown. The ball glued to his left foot even when he turned on a sixpence yet again, requiring numerous Vale players to close him down. Kudos’ best chance of the half came about as a pass back from Wignall was seized upon, with Beer cynically taking him down for a free kick on the edge of the box as he looked to pull the trigger.
Off the pitch, the lanky pale Swede, still recovering from Cheshire’s iron hip, had carefully packed his sandwich for the big game, choosing to keep it ‘simple, with filling that won’t fall out the sides en route’. One of the game’s great forward thinkers, but a shame he didn’t consider any suncream.
HT: 0-0
R-ed Strang
The second half began with much the same pattern as the first ended, with Kudos keeping possession — but Vale looking dangerous when they won it high up the pitch. With still few clear cut chances, Cheshire did extremely well to hold a powerful shot from a Kudos midfielder early in the second half at 0-0, which was vital with plenty of Kudos, but no Vale players following up for a rebound.
15 minutes into the half, a well worked move up the pitch ended in a corner for Vale. The resulting corner was taken short from Young to Rowlands, who went into the box before chopping inside — where he was promptly chopped down. The whistle sounded, and a roar from the boys in blue went up. Rowlands, Young and the Kudos manager had it out, with our feisty #23 telling him to go fuck himself — to which he replied ‘I’m 55, do you think I’m going to go and fuck myself?’. Unclear what Young said following this absolute killer reply.
Back to the game, and it was a nervous time for everyone connected with Vale as Slater placed the ball down. Such fear was misplaced! Slater confidently rolled the ball down the middle, having done his homework that the makeshift Kudos keeper would dive far and high (0-1).
By this point Kudos were playing a fluid 2-1-5 formation, with the silky CM looking to get on the ball and find one of the many forwards who were pinning Vale back. Counters became fewer and fewer, despite a few promising forays forward from Rowlands, Young and Peattie.
If the earlier save hadn’t been good enough from Cheshire, as Kudos piled on the pressure their silky silky centre mid slipped a ball between Beer and Woodbridge, which saw a winger clean through — but Cheshire stuck out a right leg to somehow divert the shot over the bar for a corner.
As the half drew on, and the heat of the Wimbledon dust bowl grew greater, the words of a young man from Sheffield, by the name of Neil Warnock were never more apt. Vale were enjoying the semi-final, enjoying it by being fucking disciplined all across the park. There was some fairly horrifying pinball in the Vale box, Odidjia blocked a goalbound effort and the onslaught was briefly halted — with us moving to only 10 minutes remaining.
Woodbridge was called a jobsworth by the Kudos #10 after a tackle, who was suffering with severe verbal diarrhoea by this point — having (incorrectly) noted earlier in the match that the Vale defence (notably Beck) crumbles like a cookie under pressure. That cookie tastes so good son.
Following a couple of late balls into the box from Kudos which were well dealt with, the final whistle sounded, and it was scenes of jubilation for the County.
The Kudos manager wasn’t done yet though, applauding Vale for ‘playing really well, really really well.’ Strang was delighted to report a compliment for the boys, but rival intel from the injured Dolby confirmed a healthy dollop of sarcasm with the comment.
There’s no competitive action for Vale until July 25th now, but what a return to action it’ll be. The Vale, the Junction/Ravens… this train will terminate at Colliers Wood FC.
Thanks to everyone for their efforts in this disjointed season, and delighted we’ll all be able to enjoy a cup final in a few months time — well deserved. Anyone got the number for Khan’s…?
VCFC Cups 2020/21
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London Cup: 3rd Round — Forza Greenwich FC (2-3)
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Marcus Lipton Cup (All SSFL Leagues): 4th Round — Sporting Crabs (0-3)
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Ken Bailey Cup (SSFL Leagues 1-3): Final: Junction Elite 1st or London Ravens 1st, July 25th, 3pm
FT: 0-1 (Slater, 60 p.k.)
Custom Kit man of the match: Beer (honourable mention to Cheshire)
Floom dick of the day: Charlie
'Yeh..yeh..yeh...Ken Bailey Cup Final, see you there'