Vale County 4-1 L.M.T. (LOVE. MOTIVATION. TRUST) FC
Raynes Park Vale FC
23/08/20
Following a victory for hangovers against AFC South London two weeks ago to kick off pre-season, Vale ran out 4-1 winners against new Division 7 side L.M.T. FC at Raynes Park Vale FC stadium.
Starting XI
C.Cheshire started in net, with Woodbridge, Beck, Beer and Odidjia across the back. Dolby, Given and Wignall were in midfield, with Young and Walmsley either side of Clements.
The Vale stadium was home to a good surface, allowing the boys in blue & white to keep the ball much more than the mud bath of Clapham Common, and play out from the back at every opportunity. However the match was very even as a contest for the first 15-20 minutes, as LMT (Love. Motivate. Trust. FC) caused issues in behind the VCFC backline, and were solid at the back. Some excellent saves from Cheshire kept the score at 0-0, with LMT winning the ball high up in the Vale half numerous times (split between Vale mistakes & good pressing) and getting good shots away.
However it was business as usual midway through the half for two reasons. Beck performed his customary 1ft off the floor header-come-double-knee to the delight of the capacity crowd and not too long after a Slater free kick from wide left caused problems in the LMT box, and the ball eventually fell to the Dougatron 3000, who made no mistake this time (1-0). The goal seemed to settle Vale down, allowing us to take more control of the game, with Humphrey marshalling the middle of the pitch well.
As the half wore on, Foley & Beer were working well down the Vale left, and causing LMT issues. Foley reminded us of his theatrical ability minutes later, a cry that was something between an Orangutan & Human as he leapt like the proverbial salmon to win a free kick. The half ended with Walmsley hitting a shot just past the post, having won the ball from their goal kick.
HT: 1-0
Beck's new boot sliders
Vale started the second half extremely well, causing issues down both flanks and blocking off any supply to the LMT frontmen. The pressure told as Foley, who was having a lovely sunday morning frollicking up the right hand side with new found post lockdown energy, found himself in space and found Clarke (triallist) with a lovely ball on the edge of the LMT area. Clarke took the shot quickly, and the LMT keeper was unable to keep it out despite getting a strong hand to it (2-0).
Following another Vale attack, Beer found himself on the edge of the box, and as the ball sat up for him, he delivered a flawless bicycle kick which sailed wide (albeit it with a good connection). The wait for Vale’s first bk goal goes on (this is not an open invitation for attempts to end this).
LMT did get a goal back though, as a free kick from deep wasn’t cleared, and it fell to an LMT player who finished well past Cheshire (2-1).
Vale heads didn’t drop though, and after an LMT corner was well dealt with, Young cut inside from the left to set Walmsley free with the opposition half at his mercy - with options to go round the keeper, slot it either side of him or even square to the free roaming support striker Given, Walmsley attempted the most difficult of choices cutting back onto his left foot and delightfully curling the ball into the far postage stamp (3-1).
The match was over as a contest at this point, but there was still to be one more goal. A contentious throw-in was won deep down the right touchline after an LMT player had gone down ‘injured’ (no doubt after trying his 17th roulette-maradona spin of the game), his team mate then failed to kick the ball out and Humphrey did what all youngs players are told to and played to the whistle, sliding in to win the throw. LMT were expecting to receive the ball back from the sporting Humphrey but after several attempts to take the throw in quickly, he was eventually allowed to throw it into Mateusz Given, all alone in the LMT box, who then finished both calmly and disgracefully in equal measure (4-1). The little rat manager of LMT was showing no love or trust towards Vale, as he mouthed off to various members of the club. Marcelo Rowlands on the touchline showed no sympathy however, telling the whining LMT player ‘if you’re gonna kick it out, fucking kick it out’. It was all too much for some though, with one LMT player begging the cameraman to stop filming (‘they’re already dead’).
Sportsgivenship
Straight from kick-off, Cheshire expertly judged their shot from the halfway line, watching it onto the crossbar. ‘Never going in’ was quoted from Chesh. The ref then signalled the end of the game, but it wasn’t the end of matchday for LMT: with post-match interviews and content to come on their YouTube channel (we will find it, and we will watch it).
The videographer auditioning to be lead cameraman in Vale County: All or Nothing approached us after the game claiming to have great content and pictures from the match. Having seen an image of what looked to be Beck sliding in with his oh-so expressive face, there was no option other than to say we’d pay up. No doubt there will be memes to come.
Getting ready to leave the pitch and head home, the team were rocked by Oli Yeung Wai Given demanding £7 rather than the usual £5.50 for the match fees, stating ‘we need the money: we’re currently in the red, a loss making club’. SSFL’s fit and proper criteria looks to have failed once more.
Pre-season concludes next week with our first match against SSFL Premier League opposition, AFC Balham.
FT: 4-1 Beck (35), Clarke (55), Walmsley (87), Given (90)
#preseason