Northcote Rangers 0-5 Vale County
30/09/2018
Raynes Park
Vale made it three in a row following last week’s home walkover with a comfortable 5-0 win away to Northcote Rangers.
1st half line-up.
The starting line up saw Beck start in goal (much to his surprise), with Woodbridge, Clements, Strang and Beer sitting in front once again. The centre of midfield saw Given and Humphrey start together as they did in the friendly vs Harbut Rovers at the same ground, with Foley, Moran and Slater in behind Rowlands.
Having applied the majority of the early pressure, the breakthrough for Vale came in the 10th minute. A cross from Woodbridge was initially flicked against a defender from Rowlands, but he then slotted in from the resulting ball for his first of the season - at long last, and the counter on www.sincejackrowlandslastscored.com can be reset (0-1). Foley and Moran continued to find space down the wings, but it was a deep ball from a Moran free-kick which led to the second for Vale. A shanked ball found Slater free at the front post, and he headed across for Strang to tap home with a finish Dirk Kuyt would have been proud of (0-2). After creating his own bit of VCFC history last week as the first player to receive a formal fine (a no-show for the match following his first ever beer), this was a redemption of sorts. The roly-poly and feeble cartwheel celebration would upset Robbie Keane, but the team enjoyed the lanky Swede trying something new either way.
Beck was then poleaxed by the lanky Northcote number 9 when coming for a cross, lying obsolete on the ground with ball in hand in a grounded superman position. This merits no inclusion other than that it was funny.
As the half wore on, certain decisions were being questioned by members of both teams, before Humphrey took matters into his own hands. Having been awarded a foul after some pressure from two Northcote midfielders, he picked up the ball and exclaimed ‘It’s not a foul, I wouldn’t want that given against me’. It remains to be seen whether the ref decided to referee the match as if he was Humpo, but the feedback was no doubt taken on board either way.
An excellent tackle by Ed ‘Stop saying I haven’t got pace!’ Strang denied Northcote their clearest chance of the half - and before half-time came another for Vale. After a neat one-two between Rowlands and Slater the ball fell to Moran who looped a shot (in all honesty not sure how and neither did he) over the Northcote keeper for three (0-3).
HT: 0-3
2nd half line-up
Beck and Rowlands swapped roles at half time, as Charlie Young replaced Foley at right mid for his debut - and Peattie came on for Humphrey and into the hole. That’s right, actual substitutes. The saying ‘running the line’ has never been less apt for a linesman, as a barefoot Foley trudged over with a bib to stand on the touchline for the second half.
Northcote started the second half much better, and Rowlands was adjudged to have fouled a Northcote attacker following in a free kick, but made amends with a save low to his left from the resulting penalty that split opinion… before arguably fouling once again from an attacker following in (I’d have given it). Certain members of the team felt it was a poor penalty, others an excellent save (including Rowlands himself) - and as much as it pains this writer to say it, it should probably fall into the latter category.
From then on it was easy work for Vale, as they knocked it around with relative ease, as Beck, Slater and Peattie worked good space down the flanks for Beer & Moran and Woodbridge & Young. After a series of near misses and a pea-roller from Peattie, Young grabbed a debut goal from a whipped Moran corner (0-4). Following Hardie’s goal a couple of weeks ago, it raises the question whether or not debutants should be assigned their own celebration or forfeit. Vale continued to push for another, and it duly came in comical fashion - as a cross from the left was headed into his own net past the hapless, dejected, miserable looking Northcote keeper by one of his incompetent teammates (0-5).
There were some extraordinary scenes towards the tail end of the game, following Northcote’s capitulation. First, Given followed in Beck’s lead from previous games by attempting a half volley from outside the area - although this one bounced harmlessly into the keeper rather than endangering nearby birds. Nevertheless, a midweek trip to (and in) Ibiza appears to have altered his sense of reality. Next, Beer rolled the ball between a Northcote defender’s legs (technically a megs) and won a corner, before a shot from him was deflected onto the post and out to safety - denying him a first goal for VCFC, as Vale County’s own Tony Hibbert continues his search for the elusive breakthrough. Beck kneed a corner past the back post too, as the sixth goal never came.
There will be tougher tests for Vale this season, but for now it’s time to enjoy being top of the league (for the first time since August 2013).
#upthecounty
FT: 0-5 (Rowlands (12), Strang (27), Moran (36), Young (63), O.G. (74))
Floom Man of the Match Award: Rowlands / Beer (share the flowers guys)
Solfix Dick of the Day Award: Humphrey
Southern Sunday League Four Table (as of 30/09/18)