The starting line up saw A.Cheshire return in goal, with Woodbridge, Beck, Rowlands and Brazill sitting in front. Given and Humphrey sat in the middle, with Young, Slater and Foley behind Clements. Messrs Moran was away in NYC, as was his pale lanky framed friend, Strang.

Clapham Common Pitch 2 continued its steady trajectory of getting worse by the week, and as the game kicked off, it became apparent that it was going to be a slog. Northcote, wearing their fetching maroon and navy away kit, were nowhere near as bad as the team that lost 5-0 to VCFC a couple of months ago - much to Vale’s disappointment. However, it was still the boys in blue with the better of the opening, with Humphrey spraying balls out to Foley and Woodbridge, with Slater and Clements also combining well. Beck found time to engage in his customary banter with the opposition, which was met with raised eyebrows and heavy sighing by Given, and irritation by the muffin-topped Northcote midfielder. There were only two chances of note in the first half. Rowlands had a header well saved by the Northcote keeper (who looked nothing like a keeper), before Slater hit the post when put through by Clements - and Young, perhaps looking at Mrs Young on the far touchline, was unable to convert the rebound. Brazill produced a magnificent foul as Northcote broke following a Vale corner, which was their most threatening action of a dire half.

Towards the end of the half Foley’s hamstring decided that it had had enough of this shit, and like the proverbial screw, tightened itself to the point of no return. Applying Dr. Thanki’s special cream once more at half-time, he returned to the field of play for the second half, but did little playing. Northcote obviously didn’t think much of Vale’s number 7, as it took until the 90th minute for Kofe to cry ‘he’s injured, he literally can’t do anything’. Harsh. Don’t worry Doug, I did catch your reply to that though - ‘well he’s just kicked the ball into your half’. You tell ‘em big guy.