11/10/20

London Sunday Junior Cup Rd 1

AWAY

Isle of Dogs FC 1-2 Vale County (Rowlands x2)

 

Man of the match: Woodbridge

Dick of the day: Peattie

 

Hard to explain or comprehend some of the actions Isle of Dogs FC were making on the sideline during our match on the most famous of all the Sunday League pitches, Hackney Marshes, but we do know that vuvuzelas at Sunday League level just aren’t acceptable. The referee modelling himself on Gareth Ainsworth didn’t allow saliva nor linesmen for fear of a riot, and perhaps he was right following what happened in our last match before the suspension against Kings Athletic.

 

A double from Rowlands with a last minute winner saw Vale through following a sloppy opening, in what was the latest finish to a Sunday league game we’ve ever had. One player in particular found the afternoon kick-off time difficult, with the returning pale lanky Swede having been up all night cuddling away with a lucky lady.

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18/10/20

Surrey Sunday Junior Cup Rd 1

AWAY

AFC Links 4-3 Vale County (Clements, Peattie, Strang)

 

Man of the match: Dolby

Dick of the day: Strang

 

An entertaining encounter which saw viewers at home complaining to Sky they weren’t seeing Vale County play, rather the 1970’s Brazil side for the opening 20 minutes ultimately saw the pink machine fall to its first defeat of the season against a decent outfit. The Vale goals came via a neat finish from Peattie, a looping header from Strang and a drilled finish from Clements.

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25/10/20 

London Sunday Junior Cup Rd 2

AWAY

Norton FC 2-3 Vale County (Rowlands, Beck, Young)

 

Man of the match: Beer

Dicks of the day: Odjidja & Woodbridge

 

It seems the Norton name follow Vale wherever they go, with the original rivalry from Birmingham being taken up by a club’s namesake in South London. A feisty encounter with terrible chat will be played again in the Ken Bailey Cup upon the resumption of grassroots football. Can’t wait for more of this:

 

Norton: ‘They’re out of ideas, they’ve got nothing’
Vale: ‘You’re just pumping it long!’

Norton: ‘Fuck off’

 

Beck powered in the first, Rowlands nodded in the second and and Young scored a ‘screamer’ late on to win the game for Vale — who had been pegged back to 2-2 following a convincing first half. The match also saw a wonderfully botched five-way substitution during the first period, and Vale playing a new formation with 10 men but 2 linesmen for a brief moment in the second. 

 

It was also a relief to see Al Cheshire at the game, with fans growing concerned his brother had locked him away somewhere in Wigan to maintain his place — with the suspiciously quick responses to Cal’s ‘In’ each week appearing ever more machine-automated. 

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01/11/20

Marcus Lipton Cup

HOME

Vale County 3-0 Kings Athletic (Wignall, Slater x2)

 

Man of the match: Wignall

Dick of the day: Dolby

 

A comprehensive 3-0 victory at the fortress will be remembered for not for the football, rather the events off it. 1-0 up with a towering header from Wignall, it was nice of Rowlands to assume that Woodbridge had timed his run perfectly off the last man to slot home, so called the linesman a cheat for raising his flag. Of course, the linesman reacted in the only way you can in such a situation — taking his coat off like an enraged WWE wrestler, screaming that he’d make us bleed, and that he doesn’t leave his wife and kids on a Sunday morning to be called a cheat. Happy families all round. ‘He’s usually only like that on the pitch’ — great to hear.

 

It didn’t end there though, and following a yellow card being brandished towards the end of the game, the match was abandoned after the referee was accused of racism. The biggest concern at this point came from Wignall though, worried that his goal would be discounted from the records. A 2nd round tie against AFC Putney, 6th in the Prem awaits as a reward — Vale’s first competitive game against Prem opposition.

 

It would be amiss to not mention the shithousery of the season so far in this game too: “you were getting back into it as well” (Peattie) following the match being abandoned in the 90th minute, with Vale 3-0 up.

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Extra Time

 

Spending Lockdown I in the Berkshire countryside, Beer has been working tirelessly on dead ball situations from deep, fast becoming a set piece specialist — and seeing his price rise week-on-week in Fantasy Football.