Southside United 1-6 Vale County

C.Cheshire started in net, with Woodbridge, Beer, Beck and Moran in front given the absence of the pale lanky Swede (who goes by the name of Ed Strang). Given and Slater sat in the middle, with Odjidja, Rowlands and Foley behind Clements.

 

Questions were asked of Southside United’s commitment or care for the beautiful game prior to kick-off, as they were happy to turn up late and kick off 15 minutes past the allotted time. Damien Mirzadeh, the referee for today’s game, was content to let this slide - as he would be many things over the course of the next 90 minutes.

 

Vale made their customary fast start, with a flurry of dangerous corners from Moran not quite resulting in the breakthrough. Given was also fouled in the box, but with nothing doing. Something something cried wolf. Southside then administered some pressure of their own, with the dangerous #11 creating space for himself on a couple of occasions, but closed down by a combination of Beer and Beck just in time. Cheshire continued his fine form in goal with a couple of vital interventions as well as his usual safe hands. The breakthrough came halfway through the half, however. A good knock by Moran down the left was helped on by Slater, who set Clements free with a bouncing ball. With the keeper advancing, he did what Pedro couldn’t yesterday, and delicately lobbed the Southside keeper for his fourth of the season (0-1).

 

With the mighty boys in blue now in the ascendency, chances kept coming. Foley and Woodbridge were looking dangerous down the right, as were Moran and Odjidja down the left. Southside were still proving to be an attacking threat themselves, however, and only an excellent sliding tackle by Cheshire (yes, goalkeeper Cheshire) prevented them drawing level. The first punishment of the day was to be dished out to JB5 though, as he received the People’s Elbow from Southside’s #11. Blood spurting from his lip, a horrible click was then heard as he popped his tooth back into place - much to his own surprise as anyone else’s. He’s a tough cookie Geoff, he’ll carry on. At the opposite end of the scale, Foley’s shoulder strength sent the diminutive Southside midfielder (that Beck had diagnosed with small man syndrome) to the ground and had a free kick given against him for doing so - which must be a first.

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There had been some suspect goal kicks from Southside throughout the first half, and it was to prove their undoing for Vale’s second. Hustling and harrying of their centre backs from Clements allowed Rowlands to intercept, and he took a couple of touches before firing a finish past the Southside keeper (0-2).

 

Vale’s third came minutes later, with a lovely team goal. Woodbridge and Foley worked the ball down the right to Rowlands, who burst into the box with an uncustomary turn of pace, before passing to Odjidja who swept it onto Clements for him to drill a low finish into the net (0-3).

 

HT: 0-3

 

A strange man entered the field for Southside at half-time, taking an age to do his boots (which proved useless), and then coming on shouting ‘SOUTHHHHSIDDDEEEE’. Game’s good as gone fella, calm yourself.

 

Southside started the second half on the front foot, but Cheshire stood firm when required in the Vale goal. The first County foray forward of the half resulted in the County goal of the half though, as a Moran corner was nodded in at the back post by Slater (0-4). Wiggy returned to a chorus of ‘Wiggy Wiggyyyyy Wigggyyyyy’ by the Vale faithful, replacing Odjidja after the hour mark. Not long after, Southside’s #11 scored a worldie, curling a half volley on the turn from a throw-in into the Vale top corner. Sometimes even the meanest defences can get breached by a masterclass - Helm’s Deep, Hogwarts, Vale County (1-4).

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Shortly after though, there was a challenge that no-one would like to see again, as the small Southside midfielder clattered into Clements with two feet off the ground. Mr Mirzadeh didn’t even blow for a foul, because why would you when someone’s gone in studs up? After putting the ball out of play, Clements was carried off the pitch and laid to rest under coats, his situation unknown to most. Without any subs available, Vale would play the final fifteen with ten men.

 

This was not to prove a problem though, as Moran swung in a free kick from the right to Rowlands, who firmly headed into the near top corner (1-5). As the cries for Vale players to win an Oscar grew ever louder, the scoreline grew ever greater, as Wiggy *just about* scored his first for the County following good work down the left from Rowlands (1-6) - and the result moved away from being PG, and became classified as a thrashing.

 

The final whistle went, and Vale go two points clear at the top of the SSFL League 4. It’s in our hands - we do not let this slip.

 

#utc

 

FT: 1-6 (Clements, (22, 44), Rowlands (40, 81), Slater (65), Wignall (86))

 

Floom Men of the Match Award: Clements, Cheshire & Rowlands

 

Solfix Dick of the Day Award: Given