Westminster Wanderers Reserves 1-3 Vale County

A.Cheshire started in net, with Woodbridge, Beer, Beck and Odidjia across the back. Given, Wignall and Slater were in midfield, with Peattie and Dolby either side of Rowlands in the forward line.

 

The match started with Vale looking shaky from the outset - perhaps unsurprising given that half the team had been attending a night out in Battersea the previous evening, and others had also solemnly sweared that they were up to no good… 

 

Wanderers started the match well, and were comfortable in possession at the back - particularly from goal kicks. However, the first real chance of the game fell to Vale, as Rowlands found himself one-on-one - but the keeper saved well. Wanderers’ pressure kept coming though, and they found themselves ahead minutes later. The goal came following an interception high up in the Vale half, with the striker finishing low under Cheshire after breaking forward into the box (1-0).

 

Minutes later, it could have been two. A Wanderers winger latched onto a through ball down the middle of the Vale defence, and was through one on one with Cheshire, but he did excellently to force him wide and prevent a clear shot on goal. Cal was unmoved on the sidelines. Collective shouts of ‘wake up’ echoed around the pitch - and wake up Vale did.

 

A delightful crossfield ball from Wignall found Rowlands, who darted into the box before colliding with two defenders and Peattie. A mess ensued, but Rowlands persisted and prodded home from a yard out to begin his Dirk Kuyt hattrick (1-1).  Odidjia, Beck, Beer and Woodbridge became a more cohesive unit as the half wore on, shielded by the midfield trio of Slater, Given and Wignall - as Vale began to put their foot on the ball more. The move away from Clapham Common can’t come soon enough, as switching between mud and grass each week continues to cause problems at the beginning of matches. Sort it out @SSFL.

 

HT: 1-1

​

‘Siri, show me a perfect goal from kick off.’ The only person to touch the ball from it leaving the centre circle to the back of the Wanderers net who wasn’t in a Vale shirt was the referee. Lovely interplay down the left ended with Rowlands through on goal, and finishing well (2-1). Since Opta records began, it’s the most touches for a Vale goal too. At least Phil can say he was there for that.

 

Up at the other end, Cheshire saved well from a flicked on free kick on destined for the far corner, as Vale briefly endured some pressure. However, the chances were then all to come at the other end - with Vale now raining attacks down on the Wanderers goal, and playing some delightful football. Michael Cox, you may need to add another chapter to Zonal Marking.

 

Beck took a touch on his thigh before connecting well with a volley - which appeared goalbound - before a deflection took it just over the bar. Depending who’s records you believe, it would either have equalled or taken him to half of last season’s goal tally. Given and Peattie also went close from outside the box, with it seeming only a matter of time until the third came. 

 

It did come, following some sustained pressure down the Wanderers left, involving Woodbridge, Dolby and Peattie. The latter eventually broke through to the byeline, and squared it for Rowlands to sidefoot home (1-3).

 

Wanderers’ final chance of note during the game came following a quick break. Cheshire’s clearance as he came out of goal found our friend Phil, but faced with a fellow Reading fan (and liberally minded political nerd (please see @phillipscullion)) covering the Vale goal in Beer, he could only meekly sidefoot it down the middle of the goal - allowing JB5 to make a good clearance. 

 

The match continued on in the same vein, with Vale showing why we’re a fucking massive club and penning Wanderers in. However, as this writer went to take a throw-in, he heard animal noises. Looking to the pitch, it appeared that Peattie was barking like a dog (impersonating something in between a Border Collie & Labrador) - after deciding a whiny little midfielder needed taking down a peg or two. ‘He’s not just a twat, he’s a full blown fucking twat’ came the cry from the Wanderers Reserves, reserves, on the sidelines. Each reader can decide to decide the validity of the claim.

​